jbrown

A recent new study by the University of Utah only states the obvious: Texting While Driving Still Isn’t Safe. I know what you’re thinking; you’re shocked, just as I was! I can’t imagine why taking your eyes off the road to compose a text message hasn’t suddenly become safe! Why did UoU decide it was necessary to conduct a study on this subject matter? I didn’t have to spend thousands, possibly tens of thousands to tell you that texting while driving is unsafe, it’s just common sense.

I would have liked to be present during that brain storming session. I can only imagine the discussion. “What should we conduct a study on? Cancer cures? No, that’s so cliché! AIDS cures? No, that’s so 1990’s. Texting! Yeah that’s it, texting! Texting is so in demand now, everyone will love the study!” I just fail to see the importance of yet another study on this subject matter when there are so many other worthwhile causes that need attention.

If you’re at all interested, here’s the news link: Texting, You’ll DIE!

That’s my mini rant for the day

Cheers,

-Jered
Portland’s Underground Inkslinger
Conducting One Useless Study at a Time

jbrown

Yes, I know, I know my faithful readers (even though you never leave comments) it has been a while since the last post. No need to be alarmed! A new blog post is in the works even though my servers reliability lately has been shoddy at best due to upgrades(AHEM) *GLARES AT I.T.* My co-accomplice and I are working our “Best Portland Cocktail Locations” post. As you can imagine, this requires extensive research and consumption of volumes of liquors of varying varieties.

You may ask, why so much research? Well, I would never want to lead my readers astray. I want you to be informed! (I’m concerned like that)

Anyway, down to the point. Have any ideas for best Portland cocktail spots? I want to hear about them, so lay them on me!

Blogging again soon,
-Jered
Portland’s Underground Inkslinger

jbrown

There’s a great movie rental place in Portland, Movie Madness. It seems every Portlander knows about them. They’ve got more movies than any Blockbuster/Hollywood you’ll ever find. They’ve got every type of movie from Action – Zombie and everything in-between.

I recently saw a movie that I’m claiming as my new Holiday Favorite, Make the Yuletide Gay.  It seems that all of the holiday movies generally have the same story line. Make the Yuletide Gay certainly does not fit the typical. A brief overview (I’ll be vague as to not spoil anything), Gunn (the main character) comes home from college for the holidays. Gunn is out and proud in college and his parents have no idea that he’s Gay. To his surprise his boyfriend shows up on his parent’s door step the day after Gunn returns home. The movie does have those cheesy cliché romantic and awkward gay moments that we all know (provided you’ve seen any GLBT movies). Gunn’s mom is hysterical, you’ve got to love those Midwesterners don’t ‘cha know! It was nice to see a coming out story that wasn’t tragic like so many of the movies out there. Despite the cliché’s it’s generally a great movie with quite the funny ending!

So if you’re in the mood for a holiday movie and don’t want to see the typical holiday business, visit Movie Madness and rent Make the Yuletide Gay!

BTW – I streamed mine online from Netflix on my PS3 but I confirmed that Movie Madness carries the movie. It should be in the new release section in the front of the store.

Remember to Make the Yuletide Gay!

-Jered

jbrown

Here we go; more controversy. What is it over this time? The loo, of course.

There’s a cool little park in the Pearl District called Jamison Square. In the summer it is filled with kids playing in the water and just having fun. Problem? Where do they go to the bathroom? That’s right, they probably pee in water. The obvious solution would be to install a public restroom. Simple, right? No, says dwellers of the Pearl.

I understand all of the usual concerns. What if an attacker is hiding in the can at night when I’m walking home? It will smell like public toilet in my neighborhood, I pay good money to live here and not smell toilet!

I laughed at some of the other complaints of the high-rise dwellers. Jane What’s Her Face doesn’t want to see someone relieving themselves from her fourth story window. I’m sure there are numerous similar complaints from many residents who live above the potty level. I’m surprised that someone would design a restroom with a see-through ceiling.  It will also create a blind spot for drivers and they may not see the children happily skipping into the street.

These complaints seem legitimate. I don’t understand the controversy, they are simple enough to address!

Jered’s 4 easy ways to fix the controversial loo:

1. Put a regular roof on the loo – Peepers, foiled

2. Have the door automatically lock at dusk – Would be bathroom attackers, foiled

3. Change the location – Motorists now a have a clear view of the playground. Curbside potty, moved.

4. Smell, well I guess you’ll just have to hold your breath when you walk by. (Not every neighborhood can be perfect)

Problem Solved!

If you’d like to read the full controversial story, check out KGW.com.

‘Till the next bathroom controversy,

Jered
-Portland’s Underground Inkslinger
Solving One Bathroom Emergency After Another!