jbrown

Here we go; more controversy. What is it over this time? The loo, of course.

There’s a cool little park in the Pearl District called Jamison Square. In the summer it is filled with kids playing in the water and just having fun. Problem? Where do they go to the bathroom? That’s right, they probably pee in water. The obvious solution would be to install a public restroom. Simple, right? No, says dwellers of the Pearl.

I understand all of the usual concerns. What if an attacker is hiding in the can at night when I’m walking home? It will smell like public toilet in my neighborhood, I pay good money to live here and not smell toilet!

I laughed at some of the other complaints of the high-rise dwellers. Jane What’s Her Face doesn’t want to see someone relieving themselves from her fourth story window. I’m sure there are numerous similar complaints from many residents who live above the potty level. I’m surprised that someone would design a restroom with a see-through ceiling.  It will also create a blind spot for drivers and they may not see the children happily skipping into the street.

These complaints seem legitimate. I don’t understand the controversy, they are simple enough to address!

Jered’s 4 easy ways to fix the controversial loo:

1. Put a regular roof on the loo – Peepers, foiled

2. Have the door automatically lock at dusk – Would be bathroom attackers, foiled

3. Change the location – Motorists now a have a clear view of the playground. Curbside potty, moved.

4. Smell, well I guess you’ll just have to hold your breath when you walk by. (Not every neighborhood can be perfect)

Problem Solved!

If you’d like to read the full controversial story, check out KGW.com.

‘Till the next bathroom controversy,

Jered
-Portland’s Underground Inkslinger
Solving One Bathroom Emergency After Another!